


Can't Begin Again

by idratherwrite



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Dismemberment, M/M, Resurrection, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 11:55:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2546612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idratherwrite/pseuds/idratherwrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I recently read Frankenstein and had this idea.</p><p>Derek dies and Stiles tries to bring him back, but doesn't quite get it right.</p><p>This is a sad, dark fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Begin Again

**Author's Note:**

> I recently read Frankenstein and had this idea. Wrote it down as a special Halloween story and also to fight the terrible writer's block I'm having as of late.
> 
> It's really more a drabble than anything else, but I hope you like it.
> 
> Please mind the warnings and do keep in mind Derek is dead for most of this fic.

The hunters didn't take Derek as bait, they took him to kill him. They knew Lydia had yelled for him, but they still hoped.

When the pack found them, Derek's body was in pieces before them.

The rage and despair they felt was palpable. Scott had slashed three throats before any conscious thought had formed. Liam and Malia pretty much eviscerated the unfortunate men standing closest to them. Stiles simply knelt besides Derek's torso.

In the end, the five hunters were dead, and so was Derek.

The hunters had separated his arms, legs, and head from the rest of the body. Stiles' yell of pure sorrow rivaled any that had escaped Lydia's lips.

**\-----**

"The ritual that revived me required me to be in one piece," Peter says evenly. "Even with Lydia's help you cannot revive him."

Eichen House had not been good for Peter. He was too thin. Often he had said that a kinder alpha would've killed him rather than send him there.

"Is there anything?" Stiles asks, voice breaking. "Anything I can do to bring him back?"

"You're only human, Stiles," Peter says. "Even with a spark as powerful as yours, there are things that you have come to terms with."

**\-----**

Derek's funeral is a larger affair than Stiles had anticipated.

Melissa and Scott are there, of course, as is the sheriff. Kira and her parents, Liam, Deaton, Chris, Araya, Braeden, Malia, and several wolves from neighboring packs are present. The casket is closed.

Stiles and Derek had been a couple for almost a year. It all started at Stiles' 22nd birthday party. Derek had been single for a couple of years and both of them had danced around the growing attraction they felt for each other. That day Derek decided to take a sure step and ask Stiles out.

They complimented each other well. Derek had finally let go of many past demons and after a amiable break up with Braeden, didn't fear relationships as much. Stiles had learned to be patient when necessary. Although his breakup with Malia had been far messier.

Stiles' father says a few words for Derek while Stiles tries and fails not to cry. He's sitting between Scott and Lydia. He can smell the grief and heartbreak on him. She can hear far more sadness than Stiles' broken sobs show.

Derek's buried near his family.

One week later Stiles finds himself staring absently at a point in his bedroom where he spots "Frankestein".

He remembers Peter's words. "Even with a spark as powerful as yours."

Well, werewolves aren't the only monsters that have turned out to be real, have they?

**\-----**

Digging Derek's grave is complicated, but he manages to do so and hide his scent. The pack worries about who would've done it and with what purpose.

The basement in Derek's building is the perfect laboratory, specially since none of the pack have any reason to look for him there.

He expects it to take months, but a necromancy message board that would appear to be pure hogwash to anyone who didn't know about the supernatural helps.

Three days after being taken out of his own grave, Derek's eyes open again.

They've lost their shine. They look cloudy and although they see Stiles they seem to not be able to focus on him. Derek's head tilts, as if curious about the creature in front of him.

"Derek?" Stiles asks.

There's no response.

**\-----**

His father and Scott worry about his absences, but he tells them that he needs to be alone to process Derek's death. They leave him be.

Derek doesn't leave the basement, and Stiles goes to see him often. It's better that way. The basement's poor lighting does a good job of hiding the changes death had brought to Derek's body. Under the fluorescent light the greenish tint of his skin wasn't as obvious. The shadows of the thread where Stiles had reattached his arms and neck were a little more subtle.

Derek's eyes shatter any illusions of life, however. They're cloudy, almost completely white, although his vision is apparently perfect. His purple lips make Stiles think of a hanged man every time he looks at them. And Derek's werewolf appetite has been replaced with an almost aversion to food. The new Derek needs only some nuts and fruits to keep him sated.

Stiles talks, and talks, and talks but Derek doesn't answer. He begs him to answer. After a week goes by his desperation is too much.

"Can't you talk?" He yells. He had taken special care about preserving all of Derek as well as he could, his vocal chords should be in a good enough condition.

"Yes."

Derek's voice is far coarser that it used to be. Like he had a nasty soar throat coupled with thirst. Stiles stares at him, mouth open.

"Then why won't you answer me?" he asks, furious.

"You're talking to Derek," he says. "I'm not Derek."

"What?" Stiles is confused. "Of course you're Derek. Who else would you be?"

Not-Derek pauses. "I'm wearing Derek's body," he says. "But I'm not Derek, Stiles, I just look like him."

"No," Stiles counters, angry. "I followed the instructions to the letter. They said you'd be alive!"

"I am alive," Not-Derek agrees. "But I'm not Derek."

"But," Stiles tries to hang on to any tiny shred of hope he can find. "You called me Stiles. You remember."

Not-Derek sigh is so different from Derek's that Stiles has to close his eyes to not lose the illusion that his boyfriend has come back to him.

"I have his memories," Not-Derek says. "Some of them."

"You remember me?" Stiles asks, hopeful. Not-Derek shakes his head.

"I have Derek's memories of you," he says. "But it's like someone else is telling me all he knows about you."

"But if you have Derek's memories," Stiles insists. "Then you must feel…"

"I know what he felt," Not-Derek states. "I can tell how strong that feeling was, but it's not my feeling. It's not me loving you. It's Derek's brain telling me that he loved you."

Stiles runs out of the basement then, overwhelmed. He spends the following days in his room, refusing to see or talk to anyone. He only decides to return to the basement because he feels responsible for the creature living there.

"Derek?" he asks as he steps down.

"I'd like if you called me Adam," Not-Derek says.

**\-----**

Adam can't shift, the sutures on his arms, legs and neck prevent it.

He agrees to stay in the basement, but Stiles knows he's growing restless. Still, bringing him out would be too risky. People around town know Derek, and seeing him back and looking like a zombie might cause a panic.

As they grow used to one another, Stiles finds himself touching Adam as if he was Derek. Each time Adam shies away from the touch.

"You're trying to touch Derek," Adam says one day when Stiles' hand lingers a little too long on his shoulder.

"I miss him," Stiles says.

"I know," Adam agrees.

\-----

One night, Stiles falls asleep in Adam's arms. Adam takes him up to Derek's old loft and places him on their bed. Stiles wakes.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "For my selfishness."

"I'm sorry," Adam answers. "For not being Derek."

Stiles shakes his head. "You shouldn't have to be sorry for that."

Stiles kisses Adam's cheek, but this time he is kissing Adam, the man he made from Derek's body. The creature he's responsible for now.

"I should let you meet the pack," Stiles says. "If you're alive you should live as best as you can."

Adam deflates at that. "Have you not read Frankestein?"

"Have you?"

Adam shakes his head. "No, but Derek did. The monster is doomed to die, Stiles."

"You're not a monster," Stiles says, sitting up. "I'll make them see that."

Adam gives him a small smile. "And what will they think of you?"

Stiles looks away, embarrassed. "They'll understand."

Adam sighs and kisses Stiles' forehead before leaving the bed. Stiles falls asleep.

**\-----**

When Stiles wakes up he finds Adam's letter next to his pillow.

The letter simply reads. "As long as I'm here you won't move on."

Stiles learns about the fire in the forest from his dad.

He mourns Adam as well as Derek.

He grieves. He remembers.

He moves on.

But he never forgets him.

Neither Derek, nor Adam.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for your kudos and comments. :)
> 
> You can follow me in tumblr [here](http://ashleighblogs.tumblr.com).
> 
> Or in twitter [here](https://twitter.com/ashleightweets).


End file.
